Warning: ranty, incoherent mumbling ahead likely influenced by menstrual moodiness.
Dear Juice,
2012 has been eventful already.
New Year's Eve was spent well - we all dressed to the nines and had a lovely homecooked dinner at Elvish Pixie's place before heading to the Pawn for a bond-themed evening. I felt quite pretty in my aubergine coloured gown and razor straight hair, not slim but pretty and presentable. The next 2 days felt whirlwindish between running into Batman (remember him) at the party, partaking in hair of the dog all afternoon and night the following day and a date with Chris the next day. I went to my first day of work in 2012 feeling a bit high on adrenaline and a bit low on sleep. I won't dwell on the boys - they were both pleasant and sweet and generous with the compliments and I have come to expect not much more than that.
And it's back to business now. Work is busy as I cover for the boss and I think I may be slacking off a bit (just a wee bit) as I have a fantastic list of errands to run. You see, I am trying to sort out my finances in a big way - the last coupla months were spent being proverbially risk averse and can you blame me? The markets were fucking shitting over themselves one minute and rallying the next. I lost some money but who didn't? Still I should have doubled-down when I had the chance. I am going to be more active this year in managing my money (not that I wasn't before but it is becoming very clear to me that I need a backup plan if things go pearshaped in terms of my salaried status).
I feel tense. The start of this year is going to be difficult - I am scared. Jin's moving to Singapore and she says there are no jobs here. I don't have the option of moving to Singapore, I am not saying I have tried and failed. My, there is much to think about.
2012's resolutions are going to be very serious and very pointed and very non-negotiable. Failure is not a fucking option just as staying hungry isn't.
So here they are. Jups' resolutions for 2012...
1. Get A Job by end of 1Q12. Ideally in Hong Kong. This is self-explanatory and it simply must be done. Inshallah the market shows more positive signs. I know I can do this. I must do this.
2. Double savings using any and all means possible. Because no one else will do this for you. There are no fallbacks - no husbands, boyfriends, sugardaddies.
3. Get a diving license. Dive in Cebu, Similan maybe? Because despite getting infected with corals, being one with the sea is a moving experience. And it is time to go deeper.
4. Tell people how I really feel. Now this is a very unJups resolution and it isn't measurable in any way other than my feeling less insulted? It's no secret that I am hypersensitive, take almost everything people say to heart and get hurt by every harsh comment. I don't want to change that, I think I have tried to and maybe I am too old. I'd like to think that my being a genuine person who takes everything and everyone seriously (literally even) is a big part of who I am but being hurt shouldn't be and niether should taking shit comments and judgments lying down. This is mostly about really crap, patronising advice from people, even close friends, and it's also men and me not telling men how I feel when deep down I think they are complete shits. In both cases, I smile, I cover up, I nod my head while I silently dissent. I should not do that.
Only four this year and really, really, only two are critical - the first two - and only one has the ability to make or break my life. So from now on, Juice will subjected to all my job hunting trials and tribulations. Because in my experience, very few people (I can count them on one hand) have come through for me during my job hunting struggles the way Juice has. That is a sad admission but a truthful one - it is hard for a person with a secure job to understand the hopelessness that a person looking for a job feels.
For the time being, let's say the next two weeks, my immediate resolution is to clear everything on my to-do list - no pending shit from last year, no dry cleaning to be handed in, no nothing. All errands must be dealt with. Next stop: Emailing, networking, harassing.
Wish me luck.
Dear Juice,
2012 has been eventful already.
New Year's Eve was spent well - we all dressed to the nines and had a lovely homecooked dinner at Elvish Pixie's place before heading to the Pawn for a bond-themed evening. I felt quite pretty in my aubergine coloured gown and razor straight hair, not slim but pretty and presentable. The next 2 days felt whirlwindish between running into Batman (remember him) at the party, partaking in hair of the dog all afternoon and night the following day and a date with Chris the next day. I went to my first day of work in 2012 feeling a bit high on adrenaline and a bit low on sleep. I won't dwell on the boys - they were both pleasant and sweet and generous with the compliments and I have come to expect not much more than that.
And it's back to business now. Work is busy as I cover for the boss and I think I may be slacking off a bit (just a wee bit) as I have a fantastic list of errands to run. You see, I am trying to sort out my finances in a big way - the last coupla months were spent being proverbially risk averse and can you blame me? The markets were fucking shitting over themselves one minute and rallying the next. I lost some money but who didn't? Still I should have doubled-down when I had the chance. I am going to be more active this year in managing my money (not that I wasn't before but it is becoming very clear to me that I need a backup plan if things go pearshaped in terms of my salaried status).
I feel tense. The start of this year is going to be difficult - I am scared. Jin's moving to Singapore and she says there are no jobs here. I don't have the option of moving to Singapore, I am not saying I have tried and failed. My, there is much to think about.
2012's resolutions are going to be very serious and very pointed and very non-negotiable. Failure is not a fucking option just as staying hungry isn't.
So here they are. Jups' resolutions for 2012...
1. Get A Job by end of 1Q12. Ideally in Hong Kong. This is self-explanatory and it simply must be done. Inshallah the market shows more positive signs. I know I can do this. I must do this.
2. Double savings using any and all means possible. Because no one else will do this for you. There are no fallbacks - no husbands, boyfriends, sugardaddies.
3. Get a diving license. Dive in Cebu, Similan maybe? Because despite getting infected with corals, being one with the sea is a moving experience. And it is time to go deeper.
4. Tell people how I really feel. Now this is a very unJups resolution and it isn't measurable in any way other than my feeling less insulted? It's no secret that I am hypersensitive, take almost everything people say to heart and get hurt by every harsh comment. I don't want to change that, I think I have tried to and maybe I am too old. I'd like to think that my being a genuine person who takes everything and everyone seriously (literally even) is a big part of who I am but being hurt shouldn't be and niether should taking shit comments and judgments lying down. This is mostly about really crap, patronising advice from people, even close friends, and it's also men and me not telling men how I feel when deep down I think they are complete shits. In both cases, I smile, I cover up, I nod my head while I silently dissent. I should not do that.
Only four this year and really, really, only two are critical - the first two - and only one has the ability to make or break my life. So from now on, Juice will subjected to all my job hunting trials and tribulations. Because in my experience, very few people (I can count them on one hand) have come through for me during my job hunting struggles the way Juice has. That is a sad admission but a truthful one - it is hard for a person with a secure job to understand the hopelessness that a person looking for a job feels.
For the time being, let's say the next two weeks, my immediate resolution is to clear everything on my to-do list - no pending shit from last year, no dry cleaning to be handed in, no nothing. All errands must be dealt with. Next stop: Emailing, networking, harassing.
Wish me luck.
1 say my name, baby, 'cause nobody likes a lurker!:
Heya Jups...Happy New Year :)
All my goals feel trivial next to yours because they are still choices. When you have to do something because you have no choice, I commend you. You sound determined and I know your determination can get you anywhere.
Jin's moving to Singapore?? :( That's sad...but I guess she's not too far away??
I'm wishing you loads of luck for this year so that you get everything you desire - success in every way.
As for the standing up for yourself - do it! Life is too short for people to walk all over you.
A Million Hugs - 2012 will be YOUR year! :)
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